4 days, keep counting down. We're all gonna die!!!!

I have to write all this shit down so if one day not so far they all become true i will be able to say i regret nothing from following the show and ship my otp.
I have no fucking idea what is going to happen in the season finale, but sweeties, i know what will i do after it.
I'm reading a lot of metas said that Cas will die. If i was who i was a yrs ago, i would drive mad. But me today, after Charlie left, i opened my eyes. I would hurt so bad so so so fucking bad if Cas die, i could see it so far. I used to be a hard shipping of Delena. Almost 4 yrs of my life, i only shipped Delena the most. But things changed and i alowly left the show. Just yesterday, i watched the season finale of tvd ss6. Nina Dovbert said her goodbye to tvd and also her character Elena Gilbert. Well, so my old ship Delena just sunk. I couldn't tell i didn't want Elena leave until i saw the scene of goodbye. Elena was so annoyed since the ss4 but i did never give up on my ship. I still shipped it so hard. So freaking hard. And with the ending like that, it hurt like hell. So i can imagine myself one day when it happens with Destiel. I can see how much it could hurt me and the rest of spn fandom if Cas dies.
But let's think again. Maybe it could be a good sign. I could find some reason to quit the show. I never take anyone who said they would quit the show if their fav characters got killed off are not the real fans. I mean, they are real fan. And because they are real fan, they would hurt after their favs died. U can see it clearly after Charlie's death, the whole fandom really got crazy and some really left the play. So there's nothing to prove i'm not a real fan if i left after cas died. I was real fan, i WAS. I just got enough. That's all. The show isn't be the best like it used to be, slowly, but we've all seen that. And i have some last reasons for me to keep watching something i don't really like everyweek. Cas and Destiel are the reasons. And i would be so hurt and pissed at the same time if those reasons just gone. So leave the show is just some not so impressed stuff we would see. Just like how i said bye bye to tvd.
And what if the good things come? I mean, what if Cas will not die? Well, keep hanging myself on the ship and facing with all the upcoming suffering things. Right?